You Can't Imagine...Or You Can ONLY Imagine?

Okay, so this phrase "I can't image" is a real pet peeve of mine - often, it is so well intended, however, it is so misused and does more to create distance between people than it does to help build empathy. .
Let's be real - you CAN imagine, if you can't you either aren't listening or your imagination sucks.  To the listener this creates distance because it often conveys "that sucks, glad it's not me." while feeling this way is all well and good, feelings aren't to be judged, (and let's admit - most people in a shitty situation don't WANT to be there either, so let's not pretend otherwise); unless you want to create distance stay away from this phrase. 
SO try the phrase..."I can ONLY imagine instead." and you can even say - and that sucks.  That is validating and understanding and builds empathy. .
I'd love to hear from you all!  Does this resonate with you?  What are some phrases that urk you??
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#theycallthisadulting .
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